This is beautiful. You articulate how important and affecting place is for us neurodivergents. Environments that are wrong for me leave me feeling so disoriented. I'm learning to honour that.
Yes, Carri, same! Disoriented and--at best--uncomfortable. I love your phrase: "learning to honour that." Me, too. Too many years of forcing myself through discomfort, disorientation.
Thank you. I am now in a house that fits me. Unfortunately a stroke has left me as yet partially disabled, at risk of falling, needing a rollator walker to go outside. Buses are beyond me because of the stair; ditto the Metro. So here's another isolating reality, but I have to admit pre-stroke traveling to unfamiliar places has always been a strain or downright ordeal. I get lost and then panick. I'm also a widow -- after 45 years of close companionship with my husband who enabled me.
Luckily I'm "plugged" in with groups using zoom regularly -- these are my social life plus aspects of social media -- writing in effect letters. Blogs. Friends on listservs and FB literary pages.
Moving is traumatic for neurotypicals too. We grieve to leave the worlds we have gotten used to. People we've learned to depend upon -- sometimes paid.
And yes capitalist arrangements trying to extract as much money from us as possible often make things worse. Don't leave that out. Especially if you have children you are vulnerable.
Ellen, your experience is so important. I remember during the first months of Covid, when everything shut down and so many of us were forced to stay home, a lot of us looked to people whose disability had already made them learn to live as full a life as possible at home to show us the way. Many understood for the first time that experience like yours lends a wisdom we all need--how to connect, how to find community, how to flourish at home. And you are right: it isn't necessarily neurotype that makes us connect to home so strongly. Sometime I want to tell the story of getting lost--and definitely panicking--in London. You and I have so much in common.
I was fortunate that my husband was mathematically, hence digitally gifted, and with his help began an online life in the early to mid-1990s, just before the Great Sudden Growth and Transformation of the Web. It cannot replace aspects of in person life, like belonging to institutions but it can help to join, or be part of the life somewhat differently, especially since the pandemic others have been driven on-line too. Connecting or stabilizing through home is also a culturally reinforced woman's trait.
This is beautiful. You articulate how important and affecting place is for us neurodivergents. Environments that are wrong for me leave me feeling so disoriented. I'm learning to honour that.
Yes, Carri, same! Disoriented and--at best--uncomfortable. I love your phrase: "learning to honour that." Me, too. Too many years of forcing myself through discomfort, disorientation.
I am so looking forward to this series of essays!
Oh, thank you, Julian! I'm so glad.
Thank you. I am now in a house that fits me. Unfortunately a stroke has left me as yet partially disabled, at risk of falling, needing a rollator walker to go outside. Buses are beyond me because of the stair; ditto the Metro. So here's another isolating reality, but I have to admit pre-stroke traveling to unfamiliar places has always been a strain or downright ordeal. I get lost and then panick. I'm also a widow -- after 45 years of close companionship with my husband who enabled me.
Luckily I'm "plugged" in with groups using zoom regularly -- these are my social life plus aspects of social media -- writing in effect letters. Blogs. Friends on listservs and FB literary pages.
Moving is traumatic for neurotypicals too. We grieve to leave the worlds we have gotten used to. People we've learned to depend upon -- sometimes paid.
And yes capitalist arrangements trying to extract as much money from us as possible often make things worse. Don't leave that out. Especially if you have children you are vulnerable.
Ellen
Ellen, your experience is so important. I remember during the first months of Covid, when everything shut down and so many of us were forced to stay home, a lot of us looked to people whose disability had already made them learn to live as full a life as possible at home to show us the way. Many understood for the first time that experience like yours lends a wisdom we all need--how to connect, how to find community, how to flourish at home. And you are right: it isn't necessarily neurotype that makes us connect to home so strongly. Sometime I want to tell the story of getting lost--and definitely panicking--in London. You and I have so much in common.
I was fortunate that my husband was mathematically, hence digitally gifted, and with his help began an online life in the early to mid-1990s, just before the Great Sudden Growth and Transformation of the Web. It cannot replace aspects of in person life, like belonging to institutions but it can help to join, or be part of the life somewhat differently, especially since the pandemic others have been driven on-line too. Connecting or stabilizing through home is also a culturally reinforced woman's trait.
You have achieved true homecoming with this. ❤️
Thank you, dear friend.